you weren't willing to hand over your experience to anyone who might tell you it wasn't real

nothing could have been more real

the cold fog you stood inside while waiting for flashing lights

the clumps and puddles of blood in the bedding you balled up and stuffed into plastic garbage bags

you couldn't have imagined this

you had no language for this

in the end somebody's heart always gets broken you said

in the end
a body gets buried

it started with a cramp

a little blood

you made lunch

we ate without asking the cat to leave the table

after lunch we went outside

two bluebirds were hopping in the grass

one bird had its mouth open

silent

you said the bird's mouth was open and its wings were spread yesterday too

I've seen sick birds before I said

the featherless chick rescued after the rainstorm

I kept it in my bedroom in a strawberry basket filled with shredded green plastic

I dug worms and chopped them
as good as any mother I thought

what's wrong with that bird you asked